Friday, May 30, 2008

That Thing that you do Friday 2.0

It's a Thank God it's Friday moment as I continue to do "that thing that I do." You know, it's editing, writing, interviewing, researching and creating this forum you Mr. & Mrs. America. It follows that old adage, "you gotta love what you do, in order to do it. In the meantime, let's not dilly dally and get on with my Friday verison of CorneliusOnpoint where you can get the latest updates, information, video, podcasting ( look for our new pod shortly!) and so much more. Are you ready? Let's go get em...


Community Rising: Saturday, May 31, 2008, First Presbyterian Church ( 9th & Scott) at 12:oo p.m. the Center for Artistic Revolution is sponsoring a "Community Gathering...Building a Progressive movement together," forum in search of synergy and collaborative minds in the GLBTQI community. According to an e-blast circulated by organizers. The purpose of the event will center around "...priorities of our communities of color, our low-income communities and our growing immigrant communities are reflected in public policy debates around family security, LGBTQ equality and reproductive justice. The time is now that we further develop a progressive state view and strategy on such core issues as marriage, family, reproductive justice and sexuality; ensure that the communities most effected are being heard; and work to build a progressive base throughout Arkansas." If you are interested in attending please call Eric Reece, 501.658.3163-cell or contact CAR-501.244.9690.


Gala NWA: Please join the Stonewall Democratic Caucus Sponsor Table at the NorthWest PRIDE GALA dinner. The 2nd Annual Fund Raising Gala, "A Star Studded Night" will be held on Friday, June 27, at NWA GLBT Community Center. See http://www.nwapride.org/events.htm for more ticket and venue information.
The PRIDE Parade and Picnic will be held on Saturday, June 28, 2008.

If you would like to attend, some SDC members from Central Arkansas are interested in a car-pool.
Please email stonewallarkansasinfo@gmail.com to RESERVE YOUR SEAT NOW!



Staying on the Edge: There has long been speculation about who's gay, bi-sexual, or on the down low in the entertainment industry. It is this very speculation and guessing game that fuels gossip columns, blind items and entertainment industry blogs. Among the African American entertainment set, this guessing game is a double edge sword, although recently there have been a variety of gay "hip hop" rappers who have come to forefront including a few that we've covered here in this medium. However, homophobia is real and live in the "biz." But a lot of the In's and out's have been written about in a new book by Terrance Dean.
Yet, prior to Confessions of a Video Vixen by Karrine Steffans and It's No Secret by Carmen Bryan, the large majority of celebrity-driven memoirs were published outside of the African American community. Even though both books told compelling, jaw-dropping page-turners of sex, drugs and hip hop, there's always room for so much more, if you are so incline to bite. The stories were not entirely shocking regarding the celebrities mentioned in those pages and served to further heighten their notoriety within the industry and amongst select fans. So, here's another peek into the bedrooms, backrooms, and anywhere else the glitteria is keeping it on the down low. The only problem is that Mr. Dean isn't really naming names. So, former MTV and Hollywood insider Terrance Dean writes a compelling account of his tumultuous life involved with celebrities and a taboo secret they would prefer never, ever be revealed. And the fame guessing game goes on...available at www.blackgaybooksonline.com

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Spare Change Wisdom Wednesday

One of the pillars of our mission statement relates to empowerment and another establishes our commitment to continuously offering pertinent information that can enrich your life. I've posted several items in regards to what I've learned to be topic #1 for myself: Mo Money, Mo, Money! Now, I'm sure that there are some of you who will say, "how shallow or is he all about consumerism?" Well, the answer is a sound, "no.," but I am about finding ways to survive in these uncertain economic times. Not to mention going toe to toe with my self in creating wealth, saving for my golden years and being self sustaining. It' no secret that ultimately you, yes you, are going have to be responsible for number one. That's you buddy! With all that said, I've decided to start offering weekly tips and tidbits about pocketbook issues that hopefully with jar your thought process into action. Remember, it's about the Benjamin's baby...how to hold them and how to fold them during this rough and tumble period.



CorneliusOnpoint's Spare Change Wisdom


#1 Squirrel Away Your Money, Then Invest It
Check out the local banks and compare interest rates and fees on savings accounts. When you find the best one for you, open the account and make a plan to tuck away your savings throughout the year. Keep track of how much money you save and add that money into your account. Not only do you start saving money with interest, but with better returns, you may be more inspired to carefully track your spending each day. As soon as you’ve got enough tucked away for emergencies, move the money to an investment account, where your funds can grow at a healthier pace. A bonus tip: set up a Pay Pal account that allows you to roll some of your added dollars from your low interest checking account to it's money market account for a great saving tool. Set it, fund it and then forget it!
#2 Clip Coupons/Use Grocery Rewards
Take some time each Sunday to go through the newspaper for coupon savings on the items you use. I usually even clip those that I might not even use for future possibilities. You never know when you may need that extra jar of something for that special recipe. Keep the coupons orderly and accessible in a coupon holder that should be kept in your purse or car so you will never forget to take them to the store. Check out these more detailed tips for saving with coupons!
You can also ask to sign up for a rewards card at a store’s customer service counter. I'm never without my trusty Kroger card, which I also use for additional savings on fill-ups in the tank. Many will have a card you can clip to your keys so you’ll always have it with you. Once you’re able to start using your rewards cards on a regular basis, perform this small task after each shopping trip: note your savings amount, usually totaled on your receipt, and make a deposit equivalent to that amount into your savings account, even if it’s small. This is a simple method for “paying yourself first“.
#3 Check Return Policies on Unused Merchandise
More often than not, consumers will have a few items lying around the house that they’ve never used. Take a look at some of the things you’ve bought and accumulated in the past year and reflect on how much use you’ve gotten out of them. Would you agree that it’s a fairly common occurrence for us to purchase stuff that just falls off our radar a bit too soon? If it turns out that you’re unable to get any mileage over some of your purchases, then think about returning them from whence they came. Why not? It doesn’t hurt to try! However, I'm not advocating that you go buy an item, then wear it or use it, then take it back under the circumstances that you didn't need it. This move lacks class if you ask me. I've known a few of you who have done this number one time too many. Shame on you!
Depending on the store, you may or may not need a receipt to return the items for cash back.Yet most require it these days. At the very least, many stores will still offer an in-store credit, which is better than nothing. Plus, you will be reducing the clutter in your home and will be adding cash to your savings account.
#4 Sell and Donate Those Unused or Unneeded Items
Ready for another way to continue your steady march towards saving a thousand dollars? Well since we’re on the subject of unused “clutter” anyway, here’s a corollary to the previous tip: make some extra money by selling off or donating your used goods. I’ve had a lot of luck putting up items for sale on eBay. I had a cute little enterprise going before I knew it and believe me it does work if you put your mind too it. Ultimately, I easily cleared at least $1000 last year by selling off some of my “clutter” (those drag fashions that needed to find new homes and uses were my best sellers!). Check here for more ideas on how to unload your used items for cash.
For our used items that don’t sell, I donate them to charitable organizations and am able to take tax deductions for them. Here’s a handy tool that helps estimate the amounts you can claim as tax deductions for anything you give away.
#5 Dine Out at a Discount
I’ve come across a lot of money-saving advice that suggests that the easiest way to save a bundle is to eat at home every night. While that may be true, your family can still enjoy some quality time out and still not break the bank. I use this method often and I'm not shame about using these valuable money savers. Check often for area restaurants offer coupons and specials advertised weekly in the local paper or on their websites. If you know you are planning a family night out or a "cheap date," keep an eye out for discount coupons from the paper and don’t be afraid to use them. Also, when your waitress seats you, ask about any other special deals that may not have been advertised, and make a point to find out about any other deals offered on a different day of the week so you can plan a family night out on that day to save the most on your meals.
#6 Visit Your Local Library
If you’re an avid reader, then keeping that fresh supply of novels and materials to read can get expensive pretty quickly. Local libraries will often carry the same books and materials, but you won’t have to pay a fortune to read them. Some libraries may charge a small fee for brand new releases but $.50 is a lot cheaper than the price of a current hard back novel. Many libraries often rent out DVD’s as well for additional free family entertainment. I owe a debt of gratitude to the local library which allowed me to jump the digital divide with it's FREE computer access. Boy, look how far I've come since then!
#7 Revisit Your Current Bills and Expenses
Many people pay their monthly bills without question. It’s easy to fall into a payment routine without taking the time to reevaluate the cost of things like utilities, car insurance and bank fees. But by evaluating your bills and policies regularly, and by checking out alternatives and options to those services and goods that you use, you can really save a nice chunk of change — especially if you current service provider wants to keep your business. By checking in on them once in a while, you may find that they can actually offer you special rates and deals you may not normally hear about.
It’s easy to ignore those cost saving updates we receive via mail from our current service providers; too often, we assign these offers to the junk pile. But don’t be too hasty. An example of where you can easily slash costs by making a simple change? Your phone bill by getting rid of that land line if you are a cellular baby. Simply call your phone company and tell em see ya! In the meantime, make sure that this options is viable for you and that you are getting the best rate. Alltels new circle of friends promo has been a life saver while I'm reaching out and touching.
#8 Cancel Subscriptions and Memberships
Along with the routine of paying bills, many people don’t take the time to consider their other money wasters such as unused memberships to the gym, unread magazines, and other monthly fees that are insidiously draining their bank accounts.
I, for one, have been surprised by how much money I’ve saved just by canceling subscriptions and memberships I haven’t cared for in a while. Our household used to receive a countless number of financial, entertainment and news publications — a guilty habit for us — but as part of our savings campaign, we’ve cut down on the paper clutter quite heavily in recent months. The costs of such subscriptions truly added up to a good amount: at least half a grand over the span of a year! Let's not forget the damage to environment!
So have you been paying close attention to what’s being automatically deducted from your bank account each month? On this note, if you’ve decided to halt your subscriptions or memberships, do beware of cancellation fees that may be incurred in the process. Also make sure that you have documentation and confirmation of your cancellation orders. If you’ve canceled an automatic payment schedule, keep an eye on your account to ensure that no additional money is being deducted following your cancellation request. A bonus tip: I used an online survey source as a means to gather "E-dollars" for great subscriptions to some of my favorite mags!

By being a little bit more conscious about how you spend your money and by being a bit more aware of how you may save or add to your funds, you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much your savings can easily add up given some time. And that thousand bucks is just the start!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Spining the Big Wheel..Part 2






Are you ready? It's time to spin the big wheel of info to see what falls out of the hat or rather my e-box. Even though I get lots of mail, believe me it's never enough. Can you believe that? Yes, it's true, because I flow through a plethora of information which forms the basis of this forum. So, if you got mail, a point of view, tidbits & secrets, observations or just plain old stuff, we're interested. As we've heard before, "it takes a village...blah, blah, blah..." If you don't have an item, then take a minute to share our forum by forwarding our post. I am in audience building mode and would like to be able to firmly establish some stats to determine the future of this venture. With all that said, let's get that wheel spinning and spewing....



Help Wanted: Looking for a J-O-B? Well, I was intrigued by a few listing on the Sidetracks Yahoo group which had some posting for area employment opportunities. I've always encouraged the GLBTQ community to harness the power of this medium for more effective pursuits than those casual encounters and such. On other area sites, there are least four to date, I've also seen a variety of "self help" items, voter info and empowerment notices. Of course, I've been at the forefront for over 3 years by producing Arkansas' only daily based GLBTQ online blog featuring video and podcasting. Let's all get the hook up and get internet savvy to continue the outreach!

Floating in Conway: CAR's( Center of Artistic Revolution) youth and young adult program DYSC (Diverse Youth for Social Change) is planning on participating in the upcoming Conway Pride Parade and Festival on June 22nd. It seems that they would like to create a float for the parade and is search for a trailer. Does anyone have a trailer or know of one we can borrow for this event? The group would construct the components for the float, transport them and assemble the float in Conway day of the parade. If you have a lead for us please email artchangesu@yahoo.com or call the office at 501-244-9690 CAR’s work is creating progressive movement building that facilitates opportunities for individuals and communities to create change for a just and peaceful society that respects the value of all people and provides equitable access to civil rights, a democratic process and economical and environmental justice.


Yippee Ki-ay DSRA: In case you missed my last outing about the DSRA Rodeo Benefit Show being held May 31, here it is again for your consideration. This fun evening will take place at the DSRA Clubhouse on Hoffman Road Doors Open at 7:00 PM Show starts PROMPTLY at 9:00 PM ( yes, that's what he said!) Diamond Rose (pictured), MISS DSRA 2008-2009 will be your Hostess and MC. Proceeds are being collected in preparation for their next Rodeo in the Rock event. If you get a chance check it out, it's usally a hoot!




Monday, May 26, 2008

Rough and Ready for the taking...

It's over! The Memorial Day weekend filled with patriotism, food, frolic, fodder and festivities galore. Even though I heard a few folks complain about those ever rising gas prices, I kept seeing the Hummers, Hummer Jr.'s Expeditions, Escalades and maxed out/tricked out trucks still rolling well past the speed limit. I know this for fact because many of you were out distancing me by miles as I stayed within the speed limit to maximize my usage. Anyway, here we are, getting ready for the onslaught of summer madness 08 as we try to figure out just high will dem gas prices go? There's got to be a tipping point, but I'm not exactly sure where it is or what my attitude will be about it. In the meantime, life goes on as well as this forum's mission to inform, entertain, update, prosnosticate and make pronouncements about what's really going on. So, we are staying on point, not to mention "rough and ready" here in the trenches. Let's go get em...


Familiy blogging 08: In leiu of the impending initiative that been cleared for the November ballot, I found this intersting twist that may get some participation from some of you and certainly myself. It's the Blogging for LGBT Families Day will take place again this year between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, to honor both but also to indicate that not all families fit the traditional model of one mother and one father. The event will be on June 2nd this year, not the 1st as in the past, because the 1st falls on a Sunday, a low-traffic day in the blogosphere.
Contribute a post and join the celebration and the outreach. Any blogger who wants to support LGBT families is welcome, LGBT or not, parent or not. I encourage those who don’t usually post about LGBT families or LGBT issues, as well as those for whom every day is Blogging for LGBT Families Day. Give it a spin based on your usual blog topics. There’s no set formula or format. Photos and videos are also welcome. (Post them on your own site, however; don’t e-mail them to me.)
The list of last year’s contributions is still online for your perusal.
Please also download a banner and promote the event on your site. The more people who participate, the more impact our voices will have.
After that:
Blog on a topic related to LGBT families on or before June 2, 2008.
Leave a comment on this post, or send an e-mail to mailto:lgbtfamilies@mombian.com?subject=Blogging with the permalink to your post. (If you know how, you may also add the tag “blogging for lgbt families day” to your entry.)
If you only post on Facebook or MySpace, you may also add me, Dana Rudolph, as a friend to notify me of your post. (Here’s my Facebook page and my MySpace page. If you do a search for my name, though, make sure to look for the event banner image, as there are multiple Dana Rudolphs.) If you do have a regular blog, I much prefer that you post there, since then your post will be readable even by those who don’t have Facebook or MySpace accounts—and the whole point here is to share our posts.
I’ll compile the posts and highlight them here on June 2. Come back and read the stories and insights of our community and allies. So, readers, let's hear from you either here or send us a link to where you are having your say.


AIDS Walking: In case you've missed out prior posting, here's a another shout out about AAF's (Arkansas AIDS Foundation) AIDS Walk fundraiser, May 30 at Jester's, Hot Springs, AR. The evening will feature hostesses, Cherity and Miranda Meridian, Miss Arkansas US of A At Large as well as a galaxy of stars and starletts. It goes down around "drag time,"(10 p.m.) and will go on until the last heel drops. According to an e-blast from coordinator Brian, "all proceeds will go directly to the Arkansas AIDS walk. If your unable to come to the benefit this Friday at Jesters you can donate via the website; http://www.araidsfoundation.org/ And if we don't see you at the fundraiser at Jesters in Hot Springs, Stephanos Fine Art Gallery in the heights will host an early registration on 6-7-08 in front of the Gallery itself. Registration is $10.00 which includes one of our original designed AIDS Walk T-Shirts, a day full of events, eating, walking, enjoying live entertainment and our traditional balloon release to honor those who have gone on before us, those that still continue to struggle with the disease and those affected by this disease. Walk with us as we continue to strive for a cure..... So there you have it, another plug from Arkansas' Online destination in the continuing outreach about HIV/AIDS in Arkansas.




Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Oh can you see & more...

Can you hear me now...Well, can you... Of course we're not quite up to snuff like that cell phone company with that supposedly enormous team that keeps you connected. But we damn well try our best to keep you updated with the latest information, commentaries, video, podcast, opinion pieces and sometimes just plain old stuff. When I'm sitting in the big chair, however, today I'm utilizing my patio outpost for a change of scenery, as I give it to you straight from all spectrum's of the rainbow and beyond. So get the beverage of your choice, sit up and let's bounce into "Oh can you see & more..."


Election Watch: The ballots have been cast, the signs are still out and the winners and losers have been announced. It's the mid-year 08 campaign cycle that decided some of the movers and shakers in our electorate. Congrats to Joyce Elliot in District 33 for State Senator. She beat out long time incumbent I.H. Brown who this year discovered me as a voter. I was totally surprised at how Mrs. Brown at this time seemed to value my vote. Her campaign literally blew up my cell phone with Robo calls. (those pesky automated voice calls asking for your vote...) Furthermore, I got mail from Brown touting her accomplishments and such, when I don't recall getting any progress reports from her during her entire tenure as my supposedly Representative. Oh well, I guess she thought that it was time to let me know that she really needed my vote this time. Unfortunately, too much talk, too late. I applaud all Mrs. Brown's efforts while she served. I will never forget her calming tone amidst a distracted committee meeting when I testified before a legislative committee which was discussing a measure to "stem the tide of homosexuality" on state campuses proposed by then Representative Travis Dowd. Thanks Mrs. Brown, good luck and please stay in touch.


Run Offs and You: It's not over just yet people! Our system of voting keeps taunting us even when we think we've had enough. Yes, it's call the run-off election with community notables, Gary Sullivan for Environmental Court Division 3 and Alice Lightle for Division 1 judgeship. So, you will need to exercise your right to vote again to help decide these important races. Watch this site for more info.


Run Hillary, Run: O.K. it's official, Hillary now get's the "And I telling you..I'm not going," award from her predecessor Mike Huckabee. She said that she was in it to win it, but it appears that she's not gonna win it but will will win the endurance record as a presidential candidate. You go girl! I know that you must be tired to stump speeches, pants suits, shots, hand shaking, baby kissing, and all these folks that you've got to try to convince that you're a winner. What's so amazing it that she's still winning states with large turn outs, even though we keep hearing that it's all over but the shouting. What's up with that? Ultimately, I just don't know where she gets the energy or chutzpah to keep going. Surely my measly donation didn't make the difference, but I appreciated the "thank you note" I got. Maybe I'll send in a few more dollars as a vote for staying power. I think that here new campaign song, should be Donna Summers' latest, STOMP. If you've haven't heard it, click on our side bar to get a taste. If Clinton doesn't take it, then I'm poised to adopt it anytime. All I can say is, "Run Hillary, Run!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Jump Shot Tuesday

I got this interesting e-clip in my box that warranted sharing with all of you in leiu of the recent same-sex marriage fallout in California. You'd have to have been in a cave not to hear the shoe dropping news that Cali's Supreme court had pronounced that GLBTQ members couldn't be denied the right to marriage based on their findings. It's was like a shot heard around the world and back. Talk favorite, Ellen, didn't miss the opportunity for some ratings, not to mention wall to wall coverage of her impending nuptial announcement. Publically stating that she's ready for the alter with her LTC, Porshia De Rossi. In the meantime, this short article from one of our online favs, Equality Fourm, is a heartwarming side note that love can be everlasting as well as enduring. Are there any local realtionships that can come close this, if so let us know. I'm still working on it, with or without the ceremony.

Through the Test of time: Del Martin and Phyllis Lyons met in 1952 and have been together ever since. On February 12, 2004, Del and Phyllis were the first couple to be married in San Francisco. Mayor Gavin Newsom officiated. Shortly thereafter, an appellate court invalidated their marriage because under California law only a man and a woman can marry.

Del and Phyllis were among the plaintiffs that challenged that definition. On May 15, 2008, the California Supreme Court held that the prohibition against same-sex marriage is unconstitutional.

The groundwork for Del and Phyllis to marry began sixty years ago when 40 states had criminal laws that prohibited whites and blacks from marrying. These miscegenation laws were routinely upheld by state and federal courts. In 1948, the first of these laws was struck down by the California Supreme Court. It was the first appellate opinion to affirm marriage equality.

There are few more fundamental freedoms than the right of each citizen to choose the life partner of his/her choice and to have society treat that relationship and their children with equality. Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon will be the first couple to be married with equal rights and responsibilities pursuant to the California Supreme Court's decision. It took 56 years
Getting your Vote ON!: Just in case you've missed all of our other post about May 20, then here's one more for ya. Today's the day when you need to cast you ballot at your local polling unit for the candidate of your choice. Yes, it's today, now go before 7 p.m. and show some pride by particpating in the political process that many died and fought to have!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Oh! can you see....






Voting 2.0: In this critical election cycle, I've been duly surprised that some of you either don't know, want to know or haven't taken the time to find out where you will be casting your ballot this May 20 or the November general election. Shame on you! However, it is our mission to offer not only infotainment but, important empowerment information to the the GLBTQ community and beyond. Early voting is coming to an end tomorrow!! So, here's the listing (one more time) where you may participate. Go now, Early Vote for the candidates of your choice! Meanwhile, get your self fully prepared to vote this November. We will keep the polling information hot off the presses.



THE COURTHOUSE EARLY VOTING HAS MOVED TO
501 W Markham St., Little Rock
Early Voting at the Pulaski County Courthouse has moved across Broadway Street in Little Rock to the Jeffrey Hawkins Meeting Room in the old Bale Chevrolet Building . The Courthouse facility has been struggling to accommodate the needs of Early Voting for some time and with the ever expanding popularity of Early Voting a change of venue was needed. Early Voting is now conducted next door to the Election Commission office in a secure and comfortable environment that provides the opportunity for voters to more easily and quickly navigate the election process. The new facility houses more voting machines, more poll workers, more space and added security.& nbsp; Early voting times at this location are as follows:
Monday, May 5-Friday, May 9th: 8 a.m. – 6: p.m.
Saturday, May 10th: 10 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.
Monday, May 12th – Friday, May 16th: 8 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Saturday, May 17th: 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.
Monday, May 19th: 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.

Registered voters in Pulaski County can vote at ANY Early Voting location, regardless of your election day voting precinct assignment. There are nine Early Vote locations that are available during the Early Vote period. Other early voting locations and times are as follows:

Sue Cowan Williams Library – 1800 S. Chester - LR
Dee Brown Library – 6325 Baseline Rd. - LR
Roosevelt Thompson Library – 38 Rahling Rd. - LR
William F. Laman Library – 2801 Orange St. – NLR
Jacksonville City Hall - #1 Industrial Dr. – Jacksonville
Jess Odom Community Center – 1100 Edgewood Dr. Maumelle
Jack Evans Sr. Citizen Center – 2301 Thornhill Dr . – Sherwood
McMath Library – 2100 John Barrow Rd. – LR

Monday, May 5-Friday, May 9th: 10 a.m. – 6: p.m.
Saturday, May 10th: 10 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.
Monday, May 12th – Friday, May 16th: 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Saturday, May 17th: 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.
Monday, May 19th: 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.






Frankly Speaking: Clinton School magazine goes onlineFrank magazine website will feature exclusive online contentFrank magazine, a publication of the University of Arkansas Clinton School of Public Service, today launched its official website featuring free content from the magazine, as well as new exclusive online material.
Frank is a new thematic publication that reviews concepts and ideas in public service embodying the Clinton School’s philosophy of straight forward, practical solutions through its "Academics for the Real World" curriculum.
Users can access the site at http://click.aristotle.net/click.aspx?lid=G8W-vWS5dh, or by clicking on a direct link from the Clinton School’s official website, www.clintonschool.uasys.edu. The site currently features content from the first print edition of Frank, which tackled the issue of race in America and was originally published in December 2007.


ECO & US: During our salute to Earth Day earlier this month, I urged readers to send us comments on our cell phone recycling project. To my chargrin, I have to report that what I've heard is nothing more than crickets chirping. Yesireee, Nana, Zero, Silence better known as nothing. I guess most are so involved with talking on their PDA's or phones that they didn't have time to read our post or find it interesting enough to speak. So, O.K., here we go again, if you have a dead cell phone or phones, etc. that you would like to donate to our cause, let us know. Hit us up at our comment box or e-mail us at Nealix101@comcast.net.

Friday, May 16, 2008

That Thing that you do Friday...

I love hearing that little quip from a variety of you who know that I "do something" but sometimes can't remember what it is or why. Then, there are a few of you readers who actually read the damn thing, often finding it an amusing exercise in "ripping" or "slamming." Neither of which I've claimed are my sole purpose, not to mention my desire in producing this daily forum. However, just for the record and I can't over state this fact, CorneliusOnpoint is about dispensing pertinent information to the GLBTQ community and beyond. That's it's in a nutshell. We are here with updates, commentaries, video, podcasting and just about everything else plus the kitchen sink to boot. Thanks for keeping us apart of your online experience because we are Arkansas's online destination over the rainbow...


The Queen in Back!: What Queen you ask? Is it the Queen of England, naw... she left the country earlier this year...Is it Perez Hilton who thinks he's Queen of all Media, naw... she's just blowing up all over the place...Has Aretha left the throne, naw... she's still the Queen of Soul, then who you ask..It's the Queen of Disco, the ultimate diva of dance floor, Donna Summer! Yes, my pretties, she's back after a 17 year absence filled with marriage and children but no hit single. Her CD, Crayons will hit shelves May 20, with preorder now available at I-tunes. According to press material, Donna has stated that she "woke up after feeling like she'd been in a deep sleep." She considered never recording again, until she got to kicking around some catchy lyrics. You can get all the skinny by clicking my sidebar mash up video of her first singles and impending 08 tour. The single, "I'm A Fire", has hit number one on the Billboard Dance charts and the next single, "STAMP your Feet" got my feet to tapping and I'm ready to assume it as my new pride anthem. I have been a long time fan of Donna Summer and have always felt that her musical genius hasn't always been heralded. She's a fantastic lyricist and her vocal power can go toe to toe with just about anyone around. Unfortunately, the mutli-Grammy winner who resides in Nashville is not scheduled to tour anywhere close to Central City at this posting. But I'm sure if the tour does well( and why would it not?), more dates will be added. In the meantime, we will be keeping you updated! All hail, the Queen is Back, let's dance!
http://www.donnasummer.com/ has a count down page and links to All things Donna, click there for more info.



Film Festival in the Rock: It's that time again, the Little Rock Film Festival, May 15 -18, 2008 is gearing up to bring canisters loaded with films to Central City for viewing. This is the second year for the festival organized by local film enthusiast Brent Renaud and Owen Brainard to showcase independent a variety of films.The 2008 LRFF will feature critically acclaimed films and festival favorites such as The UnGodly, starring Little Rock’s Wes Bentley as a documentary filmmaker stalking a serial killer, The Promotion starring academy award nominated actor John C. Reilly, and The Cake Eaters from director Mary Stuart Masterson. Documentary highlights include the Hamptons Film Festival winner Behind Forgotten Eyes, about Korean comfort women held by the Japanese during World II, Lioness, a film about a female combat unit in Iraq featuring Shannon Morgan from Mena, Arkansas; and Crawford, a film about what happens to a small rural town when the President of the United States moves in next door. The popular LRFF Talks series returns in 2008, with panel discussions, workshops, and filmmaker interviews. The screenwriting panel brings together some of the best writers working today, all of them either from Arkansas or currently living in Arkansas. However, with all these wonderful choices that were selected, I would have loved it if the film, PAGEANT, a documentary based around the Miss Gay America contest had made the cut. After all, the subject matter featuring the art of female impersonation as well as focus of the film is about an institution that was not only based in this city but cultivated here until recently being divested a few years ago. The film was shown recently at the Dallas film festival and has been received wildly elsewhere but to my knowledge not in this city. Talk about a wonderful showcase opportunity that could have been produced by a local group or better yet the films message would have been another symbol of our mainstream presence. Oh, well, that's what I get for thinking outside the box again. I guess I'll wait for the Netflix listing to see it. If you want to get the schedule and all the hook up on the film festival, here's their web addy: http://www.littlerockfilmfestival.org/ If you want to know more about PAGEANT, surf to: http://www.pageantmovie.com/ for a sneek peek.


EASY Is as Easy Does: I guess you're dead unless folks keep talking about you and that's the case when it comes to piano bar Easy Street. I've been getting all sorts of reports from rather chatty individuals who have something to say about this seemingly embattled venue. Apparently, the fundraiser that was held earlier this month was just enough to hold things over for a bit. Patrons and inside sources state that the bar is on a "day by day" basis. Now, don't ask me what that means or how it will determine the direction of the place. I'm going to assume that this means that we are only waiting for the fat lady to sing. We'll keep you posted, if we can...


PRIDE in the City 08: Even though there will not be a pride blowout in Central City on the par level of last year, there will be mini-celebrations at area watering holes, with Conway putting together their yearly round. Once all plans have been announced I will get them to you here first. However, If you know of any celebrations that are already formulated, then shoot us a shout out. Of course look for this forum's complete digital celebration and maybe some surprises.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

You bet your bottom dollar...

Welcome back if you are a regular reader and Welcome! if you happened to stumble upon us, got a forward, seen our e-blast post or some how this forum ended up on your radar screen for some unknown reason. I'm glad that you are here to view Arkansas' online destination for commentary, video, updates, and so much more for the GLBTQ community and beyond. In this post we're doing a 360 as I call it like it like I see in you can bet your bottom dollar.


Election Watch: How can I compete with the 24/7 news cycle that beats us to death with wall to wall coverage of anything "political" from any talking head that has a viewpoint. I've tried to spread out my coverage throughout my postings, all the while giving you a break, at least here anyway. I've listed those Early vote sites, mentioned candidates, encouraged your participation, chronicled my own particpation in the process and today I'm endorsing a few candidates that have the some of the most effective campaign slogans, materials or commercials.


Great TV spot: Cathi Compton's spot featuring her daughter whom "hijack" the ad is too cute. I love the fact that the daughters decide that "mom's" take on how to get the vote is just to serious, so they do a cool re-do to citing the fun vs. serious mom approach. If you haven't seen, it just makes you want to know more are candidate Compton who is seeking the 6th Judicial Circut juvenile judge seat.


All Star 4 Color Candidate: This nod goes to Joyce Ellliot, who spared no expense with her snappy 4 color postcards featuring her smiling face and plowed with all the credential that you can get on a piece of mail. I've met Ms. Elliot, whom I found approachable and seems prepared to go back to the Legislature to do battle for the people. She talks about "Change" which seems to be the catch phrase for this election cycle. She's running hard against Irma H. Brown for Senate, District 33 who recently discovered that I was a regular voter. Unfortunately, the mail I got from Mrs. Brown wasn't so impressive and seemed a bit on the cheap. I was a surprised that seasoned candidate like Brown could step to plate with a little color pizazz. But, I guess she had to save some dollars for those "robo" calls to my cell phone.


Serious I Am Ad: Wendell Griffen's ad gets my vote for the "I'm so serious" radio ad that minces no words when talking about his oppents for court of appeals seat. The colorful Mr, Griffen has made headlines for his rhetoric and stance on what he can say and where he can say it lawsuits. I've also met Mr. G many times as well as heard his sermons ( yes, he's a minister too) and I have no doubt about his abilities to deal with the matters of the appeals court hands down.


I've got Yard Signs for ya!: I don't know about you, but I was crusing about town when I saw "multiplying" yard signs reaching for blocks along Chenal Parkway for Gary Sullivan, who is vying for the enviromental court position. I guess if Mr. Sullivan wanted to get your attention, then it worked. Because then I began see his signage poping up like mushrooms all over the place. Mr. Sullivan appeared before the Stonewall Democratic club a few months ago seeking support and outling his program for the court. As a good prospect for the "environmental " court, I just hope that someone in his campaign will pick up all these signs after he wins the seat.




Don't forget to VOTE, May 20, 2008!


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Mid-week Humpin and more

Little Rock...better refered to here in this fourm affectionately as, "Central City," look quite welcoming in this great photo by Jason Burt. Mr. Burt is a fellow blogger, professional photographer and humanitarian according to his mutual blogspot site at http://www.shutterbugf5.blospot.com/ I got an e-blast with some of his creations and decided to showcase this great picture. As a native as well as proud resident, this city has much to offer and deliver. Even though we are not Dallas, ATL, or any other of those "hot spots" that many of you crave, I've found a variety of entertainment outlets, stimulating museums, and many other ways to fulfill my pleasure principle. Of course, if you don't have a clue, I'm always posting many of the happenings around town right here at your finger tips! With all that said, let's check out the mid-week hump and more...


Benefiting DSRA: The DSRA (Diamond State Rodeo Association) Rodeo will hold a Benefit Show May 31 @ the DSRA Clubhouse 4525 Hoffman Road Doors Open at 7:00 PM Show starts PROMPTLY at 9:00 PM Diamond Rose MISS DSRA 2008-2009 will be your Hostess along with special Entertainers along with the DSRA Royalty Team. Meanwhile, June 13, the clubhouse will host "Zia and Friends" featuring Zia D'Yor, Miss Gay Diamond Arkansas America
with his MGAA pageant benefit. Doors open at 9 p.m and show starts at 10 p.m.



Ontrack Northshore: The patio and grill is a blaze at Sidetracks. Each Spring/Summer the ritual takes place on Sunday afternoons, accompanied with all sort of merry making. I've been numerous times, usually finding the burgers and sides certainly worth my 5 mile drive, despite my new driving routine due to these ever rising gas prices. In the past, I recall that there was a nominal charge/donation involved, so don't forget to hit the kitty if you can. I think if you are really hungry, you can still get a bite anyway. According to the in-house magazine, OnTrack, the bar is planning Pride o8 events, so get a June copy hot off the presses. What a coincidence, this forum stays "Onpoint" while the club stays "OnTrack." Check em out and tell em that you heard it here. http://www.sidetracksnlr.com/

Intern gets a CAR:As a member of the Equality Federation, local organization Center for Artistic Revolution has been awarded a small grant that will pay the stipend for an intern for 10 weeks starting the first of June. This intern will be leading our summer youth/young adult program.
CAR is providing housing for this intern. At this time we need a twin bed, or a very comfortable couch and a small dresser to accommodate her. These items could either be donated outright or provided as a loan for the 10 weeks.
We are very excited to have our new intern, Felicitas Morales. She brings dynamic skills and experience to our organization. We can't wait to see the results of this program! If you know of any youth/young adults between the ages of 14-23 who would be interested in participating in the summer program please let us know. We will be sending out more information on the program shortly
Felicitas will be arriving the 27th of May. Please let us know ASAP if you can meet one or both of these needs.
(501) 244-9690 office
(501) 258-3186 cell


AIDS Walking: AAF( Arkansas AIDS Foundation) will be on the road, May 30 at Jesters in Hot Springs, AR for a benefit show with all the proceeds directed to the Arkansas AIDS Walk 2008. Hosted by Cherity and Miranda Meridian will feature local talent including Tione Iman, Marvella, Stephanie Richards, Kirstyn Krawford and others. Check out their new website at http://www.araidsfoundation.org/ for more information and contacts.

Good Times...Really?: I've learned that the late night haunt, Good Times, located at the Asher Avenue/ Roosevelt intersection has been remodeled and allegedly has been awarded a licence to legally operate as a business. However, I've also learned that this venue still has continuing security problems and other strange shigity going on across the board ranging from never ending shows sometimes featuring "pole dancers," to inebriated minors. To add more color to this observation, it seems that the management allegedly also doesn't beleive in sharing the market by playing hardball with false accusations to the authorites and other dastardly tactics. To my understanding, many in the BSGL community have had it with this venue and is severely in need of options. I've got to give this a bit of more thought, perhaps there's something there that I could get into. If you've got incidents, experiences or encounters you'd like to share. I'm all ears any time. Let's talk about....

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Relationships 101 part Two and You

Yes, I've heard you. Those of you who are lovelorned, searching for love in all the wrong places and have become "bitter -party of one...! However, in all this chatter about why "I can't find nobody?....where are all the good single partnership material?.... and "Lordy, why me, am I destined to be alone for the rest of my fucking life? There's hope, advice, and some tools available for all of you and the rest of you who may be getting that itchy feely thingy about your current relationship. Now, you say, what do you know? as well as, what qualifies you to tell me bout my situation? I say that I've weathered the coming of age phase, land mines of "living the life," ranging from racism to reality check and last but not least my long term relationship that's in it's 13th year. So, there. I've qualifed myself and if you want pearls of widsom, then read on. Trust me, it will be worth it as we tackle relationship 101- part two and you....




Looking for Mr. Goodbar: There are so many scenarios that comprise the all to important "Looking for Mr. Goodbar," dating mash up. There's the "parting glances from across the room...I met her in church....I saw him at this party.... or I got fixed up on this blind date that was a mother of all dates!, all of this is a part of the big wheel of dating in the 21sts century not with standing the internet phenom. Unlike, the "bar years," when most 0r many of the hook ups sometimes manifested themselves from those one night stands. This was long before the "alternative" bars or the new sense of acceptance that's all the rage. Today, dating has become electrified with dating services such as Chemistry.com, chat sites, video dating, speed dating and a variety of other online matchmaking. If you decide to choose to find your mate in this manner, beware that all that glitter is not gold. Good luck!




Jumpin the Broom: Taking the plunge in developing a relationship can sometimes be compared to that Survival show or even the Amazing Race. It's all about the stratergy to outwit, outlast and yes, out play your choosen partner when it come to keeping the coupling growing and maturing. With all that in mind, especially if you've decided to co-habitate any time soon, then take a gander at the follow item that I wanted to included from QueerCents.com. So, before you decide to jump the broom into a relationship think about finance as you enter into romance!



Odd couple: When financial opposites attract
By Yuval Rosenberg and Queercents
Opposites attract, and Michael Roth and Robert Durkin prove the point - at least when it comes to their finances.
Michael works for a financial services firm and is a self-described hoarder. Robert is a lawyer and an impulsive and generous spender.
Michael despises debt. Roberts sleeps comfortably with $25,000 in credit-card balances.
“We’re night and day,” says Robert. Knowing full well that financial issues are a prime reason that partnerships fail, Michael, 32, and Robert, 43 - who met at a party in Miami Beach and have been dating since last July - want to bridge their differing views on money and figure out a way to marry their finances before making the decision to move in together.
Where they are now
Robert and Michael are starting their partnered life on solid enough footing. As a criminal defense attorney, Robert earned $209,000 last year while Michael, who works in IT, pulled in $80,000 plus a bonus.
Although Michael is younger, he’s off to a better start as a saver. He has already amassed $190,000 in investments and retirement savings. Plus, he has $50,000 stashed in money-market funds for emergencies.
Robert, on the other hand, has $62,000 in his SEP-IRA. And his rainy-day fund consists of $10,000 in cash and silver and gold coins.
What they should do
Get on the same page: Robert concedes that he’ll need to make some changes.
“I’m just going to acquiesce,” he says. But Ruth Hayden, a St. Paul financial educator who counsels gay and lesbian couples, warns that this approach won’t work in the long term because no one can alter his financial personality that easily.
Instead, Robert and Michael need to find a middle ground. For instance, Hayden says Michael might enjoy life more if he were a bit less cautious about money. And Michael admits that he admires Robert’s generosity, such as his willingness to pay for nights out with friends who earn less than he does.
One solution: The pair should keep individual and household accounts or what is called the “three-pot” money system. Robert can deposit several thousand dollars each month into a checking account earmarked for joint expenses. With what’s left he can pay down his debt and spend as he desires.
As for their investments, Ross Levin, a financial planner in Edina, Minn., says newly partnered couples shouldn’t rush to combine their portfolios. But Levin suggests a few changes.
Between them, Robert and Michael invest in 16 different funds managed by American Funds. Where there’s clear overlap - for instance, both own balanced funds run by the firm - they might want to pare that down.
Meanwhile, they should consider adding blue-chip funds run by other firms, such as Vanguard Dividend Growth (ticker symbol: VDIGX).
Another issue: Once the couple move in together, they will have near-term goals to consider, including buying a bigger home. And that means they’ll need some safe fixed-income investments to protect their down payment.
Levin says the couple needs to boost their bond allocation to about a quarter of their portfolio. He recommends adding a well-diversified, low-cost fund like Loomis Sayles Bond (LSBRX).
Deal with the debt: Robert, who worked his way through college and law school, feels strongly that Michael should not use his savings to wipe out his debts. Levin agrees. He says Robert’s income is more than adequate to attack his hefty credit-card balances, $30,000 in car and motorcycle loans and $76,000 law school debt.
Levin suggests paying off the smallest balances first. This should give Robert confidence that he’s making headway, while also freeing up future cash flow to pay down his credit-card debt.
Budget for a new home: The couple’s two condos are on the market (Robert’s one-bedroom is listed for $214,900; Michael’s two-bedroom is going for $279,900).
Once the condos are sold, they hope to find a larger house nearby. Michael is comfortable spending between $400,000 and $500,000, but Rory thinks they can go as high as $600,000.
Hayden says that these partners are putting the cart before the horse. Before wasting energy fighting over price tags, Robert and Michael need to hammer out a household budget to see what they can actually afford.
“I think that makes a lot of sense,” says Michael. And ever the long-term planner, he adds, “I’m excited to start talking about those things.”





Gay and Single forever: In case you may feel that "you've done that, got the T-shirt," attitude, then there's a book for you. Gay and Single... forever subtitled, "10 things every Gay guy looking for love( and not finding it) needs to know," authored by Steven Bereznai is a nice retreat into checking yourself. In reading some excerpts on Amazon.com, many of the tips should cause you to stop and smell the roses about how you approach relationships or whether you are sabatoging them as well. Yes, often times, many of you think you want to be involve then decide that doing that "give and take thing," isn't you. Opting to living the single life or either Bitter party of one. The book features interviews, historical prerspectives and societal analysis, as well as personal narratives. If that's not your cup of tea, then you can always try
the best-selling, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives, which takes a turn at the burning question of love. According to a product description on Amazon the author cites, "There are few books for gay men on not only what to look for in Mr. Right but how to become Mr. Right. My book will address both. It is not just about finding him, it is what you do after you find him," says author Joe Kort. A certified Imago Relationship Therapist, Kort has employed the ideas put forth by Imago founder Harville Hendrix to transform the lives and relationships of the countless gay couples he has worked with in 20 years of private practice. In "Your Sexual Shadow," one of his new book's 10 life-altering chapters, Kort unveils a surprising and groundbreaking idea that explores how decoding sexual fantasies can often unlock the mystery to what gay men are looking for in a partner and why. This will be particularly elucidating to men who have been conditioned to believe their sexual fantasies are an obstacle to long-term relationships. How can the secret logic of "dark" sexual desires help you find Mr. Right? "So many of my clients say they have to get better before they find Mr. Right," reports Kort. "I think that is often a reason to avoid relationships and simply not true." His new book is a practical guide to set gay men on the path to true love today.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Anit nobody stoppin Us Monday


It lives...Yes, CorneliusOnpoint continues to stand the gap of bringing you the latest news, updates, commentary, podcasting, video and just plain old stuff for the GLBTQ community and beyond. Each and every day that I sit in the big chair while producing this forum, I get a sense of pride that perhaps my words will motivate, inform or empower an individual into action. However, I'd like to think that this exercise is a two way street. I don't like the sound of crickets when I'm seeking your opinions or observations on issues that may impact us directly. I know you're out there and I'm encouraging you to speak up and participate!



Early Voting: I wanted to remind you that early voting is now taking place at a variety of polling places around town. In a previous post, I listed the sites and how you can get your vote on early. Registered voters in Pulaski County can vote at ANY Early Voting location, regardless of your election day voting precinct assignment. There are nine Early Vote locations that are available during the Early Vote period. If you don't get their early, then be prepared to get to the polls on May 20. Remember, every vote counts and that means you! Do it Today!!




Living the Stimulus Life: In case you've already got that stimulus pay out or most likely spent it, here's another article from our online partner, Queercents.com, that I've been including rather regularly. I find their prespective interesting and thoughtful as well as useful. I also believe that in these challenging economic times, we all need a little encouragement that the world isn't really going to hell in a handbasket. As usual, let us know what you're thinking by using the comment icon. We're always waiting with the light on...



Breaking Free from Debt Excuses by Dawn

It’s time to break free. Time to free yourself from the excuses you think up for reasons you buy yourself into debt. Time to free yourself from justifing reasons you think up to NOT save money. Stop it; just stop doing it.
You say you want to get yourself out of debt and stop yourself from using credit cards. You say you want to save money for an emergency fund, but you can’t find the money to do it. You say you want to start or give more money to your retirement fund. Stop saying it and Do it.
Don’t just freeze the credit cards, cut them up. Don’t close your account that will mess up your credit score, instead cut them up. If all else fails get a new one, IF you HAVE to. If you are in debt it is because you can’t handle money. So get used to a checkbook or cash and only handle the money you have on hand.
Don’t make excuses about not starting an emergency fund, start doing it today. Open an ING account with a couple of dollars and start putting 10-20 dollars in every month. If that means bypassing a night out with friends at the bar or cutting your cable tv channels down, so be it.
If you want to start of give more to a retirement account, get going on it. It will hurt a lot less now than when you retire and realize you COULD HAVE HAD 100,000 dollars more if you had only given up an extra 1-2% annually today.
If you mean business with your personal finances and getting out of debt, then start doing it and stop excusing yourself. You are a creative person, I know you can find ways to make this happen, even if it means sacrificing the things you enjoy for a while. It’s time to make this your priority. This is War!


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

The World According to Cornelius...

How bodacious and pointed...The World According to Cornelius? Yes, it's my party and I will call it like I see it. In past post I've wondered out loud if "the world was going to hell in a hand basket," and I'm still not convinced that it's not. However, I'm still sitting in the big chair observing what's really going on in the GLBTQ community and beyond. So, let's get cracking...


Easy Over or Out: Just when we thought we knew what was going on at Easy Street Piano Bar, it seems that strangeness and unexplained occurences continue to happen. I thought I would check the place out, Tuesday (5.6.08) to only find the place shuttered. On the door there was a sign that said "Easy Street- party around back.." I didn't find no party, no people or nothing else for that matter. Meanwhile, I further learned that the venue had abruptly cancelled a fundraising wine dinner for the AIDS Foundation to be held 5.7.08, but stated that it would be rescheduled at a later date. Now I don't know about you, but I think that someone got's splaning to do. Because I've got some questions for em. For starters, does this sound like a way to run a business? Why would the AIDS Foundation continue to use this venue with it's seemingly unrelability? What about all those alleged investors who didnt know that their "return on investment," would ultimately result in a wine tab at the bar? If the venture is suffering cash flow problems or management issues why doesn't it just throw in the towel and call it quits. Let's face it, wouldn't it be better to go out on a positive note rather than the sour notes that are pinging around town. We'll keep you posted, if we can...


There's She Blows: Hillary "in to win it" Clinton blustered and blew through the Indiana primary winning by a nose only to be shut down in the North Carolina primary to the bouncing Obama. At this junction, although the scrappy Clinton may hang on through a couple more primaries, I think that her being the nominee is just not in the cards for 08. I give her high kudos for her moxy, and fortitude with her run for the White House. As for taking it to the convention for a possible floor fight, I would hope this could be avoided at all cost. I'm ready to support the presumptive nominee even though I know that come November, "there's going to be blood on the dance floor."




HIV Talkfest: It's Time to Talk, this weekend at the Art Scene, 10:30 to 5:30 p.m. at the corner of Maple and Broadway. Both breakfast and lunch will be provided for participants. The day will be filled with case managers, doctors, counselors, ASO's and assorted providers. For more info, call 501.835-1463. Speaking of the Art Scene, I've heard that this multi-purpose outlet for art may soon be no more. Apparently, operational expenses are outweighing revenues, making it difficult to keep the doors open. At post time, there has been no actual date of closure, but from all indications an announcement is forthcoming shortly.


Getting Webby: Congrats to the Arkansas AIDS Foundation on the their newly designed website. I was pleasantly surprised, although I found it strange that there was no press release, e-blast or much of nothing telling the community about this progress. The site is actually user friendly complete with a "vision statement and mission statement" prominently displayed. Sidebar info, snappy graphics and a quaint musical undertone that plays as you move through the site. However, as much as I like it's look, I was a bit fuzzy about the focal point graphic which features GAP like or Abercrombie/Fitch models with the kicker, "your health is in safe hands." I ask you, yes you, is this image a true reflection of your core clients or endusers? Or was the web designer given free rein to just get the job done without any forethought as to organizational branding or marketing. Anyway, the site looks good despite this obvious oversight. In the meantime, go to the newly updated site and check it for yourselves, then get back to me. Click it: http://www.araidsfoundation.org/

Monday, May 05, 2008

Busting a Move from the May pole...



Say What..? May Day came and went, leaving us four square in to a Spring affair that's sprinting toward summer 2008. As for me, I got caught up with too many irons in the fire, causing me to miss the first 5 days of the month, but undeterred to continue bringing you dear readers the latest updates, breaking news, commentary, and just plain old stuff for the GLBTQ community and beyond. Are you ready...? Then, let's go...!





Stimulating- R- Us: That long lost uncle, known as Sam Bush, became a cash cow last week with a multi-billion dollar pay day for U. S. citizens across the nation. Not surprisingly, most of the folks that I either helped get the surprise pay day or otherwise have talked about what they are going to do with the extra moola. However, I've encouraged anyone and everyone to consider a few possibilities such as:


1. Pay down debt, especially those pesky high interest credit cards.


2. Add an extra payment to your current mortgage


3. Throw your 401K a bone by adding to your current account.


4. Buy some U.S. Savings Bonds, consider the new "I " bonds. Talk about low cost investing!!!


5. If you own a home, upgrade or complete a "honey do" project to enhance it's value.


6. and last but not least, invest in yourself with a class or empowerment seminar to take you thinking to the next level.





Money Makes the World Go Round: Since I'm on the money tread mill, I couldn't help but post a wonderful piece that I discovered from the writers as well as a new fav of mine at QueerCents. Several times this week I will addressing Rainbow Realtionships 101 and this article was certainly worthy of being passed on to those of you who have decided to share your life as well as your pocketbook with your partner. If you decide to complete the pop quiz,because you know I will share my answers with you shortly, please feel free to share your insights with us, if you dare!


How-to Guide: Manage Money With Your Domestic Partner
By Dayana Yochim and Queercents
It’s no great mystery why money issues are often cited as one of the top reasons for breakups in the U.S.: Talking about money is never just talking about money. Most partners cohabitating cop to having an occasional tiff about family finances. Even in the best of times, money can be a conversational time bomb in relationships.
If your money tete-a-tetes typically result in one of you sleeping on the couch, rest easy. We created this guide to help you and your beloved have more fruitful financial conversations. After all, the more you talk about your finances, the richer (metaphorically and literally) your relationship will be.
Read on for strategies that will strengthen your financial union, starting right now.
Get in the mood (for a money talk)We’re going to start with a personal question. No, not that personal. We just want to know when was the last time you and your partner talked about your finances in more depth than “Did you remember to pay the dog walker?”
To remove some of the pressure of bringing up money with your lover, ease into the conversation with the lighthearted game below to see how well you know each other’s money habits.
Pop quiz!Grab two sheets of paper — one for you and one for your partner. Work through the following questions and record your responses (no peeking), then compare your answers at the end. (It helps to channel your online dating days and add your own color commentary.)

1. You get $1,000 back as a tax refund. What would you spend it on? ____________ What would your partner spend it on? _______________
2. You view money as (circle one):
(a) A necessary evil.(b) The path to happiness.(c) Nice to have, but I won’t sweat over it.(d) Hey, where’s my wallet or purse or whatever you’re carrying these days?
3. Which of the two of you is more likely to:
__________Know how much is in the checking account__________Buy an expensive gift__________Shop around for the best deal__________Know how the stock market fared today__________Do the taxes__________Watch a “Get Rich With Real Estate” infomercial from beginning to end
4. What are the three best purchases you’ve made together? The three worst?
Best:
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
Worst:
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
5. Who has more cash in their wallet right now (winner takes all!)? __________
6. My biggest financial concern (besides finding cash for tomorrow morning’s Starbucks fix, if you were on the losing end of question No. 5) is ____________________________. I think my partner’s biggest financial concern is _________________________________.
7. The cutest thing about my partner right at this very moment is ___________________.
Now that you’ve (hopefully) had a laugh, it’s time to get down to money business.
Get it done: Set the (money talk) dateYou make time for the important things — the vet, the dentist, the circuit parties. Setting (and keeping) a date to talk finances is just as critical as almost anything you do as a twosome.
Mark your calendars (in pen): Don’t relegate this task to the “we’ll get to it sometime” pile. Formalizing the event shows your commitment to bettering your relationship.
Choose a comfortable setting: The kitchen makes a fine conference room. But consider taking this conversation to a place you will both enjoy.
Plan for distractions: Skip the tea dance. Unplug the phone. Leave no room for excuses — TiVo can record the Big Gay Sketch Show.
Pick a reward: The benefit of working through your money issues is increased comfort, security, and satisfaction. We think following through on your money date deserves a tangible reward, too. So pick an incentive (e.g., movie tickets or dinner at your favorite restaurant) to celebrate the completion of your powwow. Write the reward on your calendar as a reminder of the big payoff.
Repeat quarterly: Wall Street provides updates to shareholders on a quarterly basis. That’s a good calendar for couples, too. It keeps you both in the loop and allows you to track your goals and tweak them. So, while the calendar’s out, pick a date for your next money get-together.
Declare your rules of engagementIt’s not uncommon for one party to be more interested in finances than the other. That’s OK, but making decisions about money is a two-person job. Daily decisions about how you spend or save are much easier when you’re on the same page.
Dealing with the silent treatmentWhat do you do if your partner is reluctant to sit down and discuss finances at all? Dangle a carrot (sex often works)!
Put a positive spin on money management: Illustrate that hashing out some money issues now can pay nice dividends in the short, mid-, and long term. Ask what your partner is excited about in the coming years. Maybe it’s an RSVP or Olivia cruise, paying cash for the new Miata or Subaru, or retiring 10 years early. Then commit to finding ways to make those things happen together.
Also make it clear that you don’t expect to perfect your finances right away. The goal is to make incremental improvements over time. The beauty of having this conversation on a quarterly basis is that it gives you the chance to practice talking about money.
Get it done: Set some ground rulesConversational ground rules sound overly formal. But studies among partners show that having rules in place helps keep money conversations from devolving into bicker-fests.
Here are a few suggestions to get you started. Modify them to suit your style. We suggest writing them down and having them on hand for reference as you talk.
Agree to try. Managing household finances is a two-person job.
Accept equal responsibility for changing your lives. Don’t put the onus of all money decisions on one person.
Don’t play the blame game. No fair bringing up past financial indiscretions or his crazy family or her ex-girlfriend. Each conversation should focus on what you can do from this day forward to improve your lot.
Be honest and realistic about your financial situation. We applaud aggressive goals, but trying to achieve a pie-in-the-sky ideal will only lead to frustration and resentment.
Breathe. Relax and approach the conversation with anticipation for what you can achieve by putting your heads together. Take a break if your conversation becomes heated and unproductive.
Now you’re ready for a deeper meeting of minds and wallets. So let’s find something to talk about.
Set an agenda that excites you bothYou’ve got your ground rules and now you’re ready to chat. Remember, not every money issue needs to turn into a formal financial summit.
Start with your wish list — your partnership goals. Chances are a few of them cost money. Brainstorming ways to make goals a reality will help motivate you to work together.
Preempt money conflictsDon’t gloss over any issues you face, however. Commit to talking about a few of your biggest and most sensitive financial concerns before issues become fodder for a fight That way you’re setting yourselves up to be partners, not adversaries.
Set the agenda by individually answering the following questions:
What’s my biggest daily financial concern?
___________________________________________
My top three ideas on dealing with it:
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
What are the most important midterm (next one to five years) money concerns we face as partners?
___________________________________________
Ways to tackle them head-on:
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
What worries (or excites) me most about our long-term (six to 10 years) financial well-being?
___________________________________________
How can we best prepare for it:
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
Fodder for your first talk If you don’t already have a good handle on what you own (your assets) and what you owe (your liabilities), we suggest earning the title of World’s Best Partner by volunteering to wrangle your money essentials. (Use our “Get It Done: Must-Do Quarterly Review” as your guide.) With that in hand, your first formal sit-down as a couple should start with a review (remember, no judging).
Deal with issues without tissuesKeep your money talks from ending in door-slamming and pouting by incorporating some of these tips into your next talk.
Use concrete examples of what you want: Instead of talking in the abstract (e.g., “I get worried about what we have in the bank”), be specific (e.g., “I’d feel a lot more secure if we had $3,000 in our emergency fund”). Ask your partner to do the same.
Listen seriously: Uncross your arms, don’t roll your eyes, and make no judgments. Keep our “Get It Done: Set Some Ground Rules” nearby as a cheat sheet.
Give a little, get a little: Compromising is much more palatable if you know you’ll get your way in at least a few areas. Come up with an amount of money each partner can spend every month without question. As for medium- and long-term expenses, come up with a plan that you can both live with and will look forward to achieving.
Try a third party: If emotions run high, get a neutral third opinion. Plug your plan into a personal finance program like Quicken or Microsoft’s Money. There should be no arguing with black-and-white numbers. If there is, consider taking your budget talk public with a fee-only financial advisor. Nothing inspires civility like someone sitting behind a desk in a suit.
Bring on the memories: Remember your first date? What did you do? How much did it cost? Who paid? And what was the rent on that first apartment that was such a dump? There you go, you’re laughing and recalling what drew you two together in the first place. Money doesn’t have to be a sore spot in your relationship. Keep reminding yourselves of those strong bonds that first attracted you to each other.
ConclusionIf you’ve never had a frank money talk with your partner, we hope you’re convinced to do so now. A longtime Fool who is nearing his 50th anniversary of partnering bliss says, “If you want to stay together, talk about money. A cute pool boy doesn’t hurt either.”
He’s right — the burden of weighty, unresolved money issues clouds so many relationships. By talking openly about finances and working together to resolve outstanding issues and achieve your goals, the two of you will be richer in ways that aren’t just reflected in your account balances.
Resources that get the pink light:
Dim the lights, pour the wine, and run through The New York Times’ 15 questions couples should ask before renting the U-Haul.
Is yours a money match made in heaven? Take the Couples Compatibility Quiz Dayana wrote for TheNest.com to find out.
For a more in-depth look at handling your cash together, check out Dayana’s book, The Motley Fool’s Guide to Couples and Cash: How to Handle Money with Your Honey.
The Fool’s Newly Shacked-Up Financial Boot Camp has specifics on planning your future together, including setting up an emergency fund and preparing for retirement.