Monday, November 21, 2005

In Search of "The Secret!"...continues

It is amazing that I have spent many of my productive years attempting to put my finger on the how, what, when and where I may fit into my version of community. Unfortunately, after all this time, I am still perplexed as well as, still searching for that elusive connection that would offer me a more energize conduit to all those who share my passion and interest. Over the last 20 years, I have analyzed, compromised, and idealized what "community" meant to me and how my contributions, whether they be large or small, would be utilized within its structure. So far, I have concluded that the communities of family, ethnicity, career and friendhship networks, that I thought I was apart of was perhaps a mirage within my imagination. These necessary suppport systems have become seeminly cloaked in my personal hopes, steeped in various disappointments that lie in the shadows of my ongoing fears, causing me to re-evlaute my relationship to each of them. Overall, I believe that as I unlock the elements of "The Secret," I will re-establish the synergy with individuals of like minds who will help me soar to new heights. Certainly, I have taken into account that the forces throughtout my scope of "community" has been dealt a serious blow with not just the AIDS crisis, but rather a barrage of socio- diseases, including alcoholism, mental illness,other susbstance abuses and the gnawing pressures of the "six degrees of separation" paradigm at large. Consequently, I've summerized that despite it all, a serious disconnect has to be countered, resulting in eliminating my doubts and confusion about the community that I so often took for granted. Ultimately, "The Secret" will set in motion answers to the basic questions of "where is the community that claims me and what are they expecting of me as the years continue to turn?" Must I comtemplate that my journey and experiences thus far have had very little intrinsic value, or worthiness to enhance those who will finally inherit my place within this microcosm. I shutter to think that much of my time has been squandered and those contributions have all but been forgotten, due to our "blink" culture which is always ready for the next big thing. The awful reality that exist is that the quasi communities I thought I knew and embraced, although flawed are actually still in need of soulful indidviduals such as myself to give them purpose and direction. However I'm determined that despite my current disillusionment, I intend to fill my spirit with all that I find within the scrolls of "The Secret" to secure a better future for myself and all that I touch. Join me as I search for clues at

Monday, November 14, 2005

We are family or are we???

"We are family...I got all my sister's and me...! The anthem was a rallying cry of yesteryear and I really thought that we were a family and would be always. I embraced the wondrous like beings who I felt had accepted me as part of the larger group, known as "The Community". However, 20 years have past and now I stand perplexed as to what happened to the community that I often spoke of, and thought I had allegiances too. What happpened to the family that proudly proclaimed that we would be concerned about our civil right to the pursuit of life and liberty? Where are those dieheart individuals who came to meetings and offered pearls of wisdom that would benefit us all? Are there any real answers to these questions, perhaps not. Apparently the 21st century has ushered in a reclusive "tech" mentality that has engulfed the community, almost snuffing out the comraderie of bar life as we have known it. However, in efforts to counter this trend, local entreprenuers have desperately scrambled to redefined their customer base including expanding their appeal by becoming "alternative lifestyle" or trendy Rave hangouts. "The bar" is no longer the bastion of community information or physical activity hub. The once gathering community, subsequently fractured community, has now disintergrated. The soul of that community, that I knew has become a mere shell of it self, leaving me wondering if my past contributions, no matter how large or small, have all but become a memory. A victim of the new "blink" society we now live in, where waiting for the next big thing reigns supreme. Especially if it can be offered through your webcam or courtsey of your front door. Consquently, my minor offerings will have no real lasting affect on those who will take my place within this microcosm. The mutal goals that I thought we shared have not truly been realized and there is much work still undone, unevaluated or unaccomplished. Unfortuantely, as I look around for willing workers, I have discovered that not only are they far and few, but they are disregarding lessons from the past. Neverthless, precious resources are becoming seriously limited, leadership vaccums abound and results will be highly scruntinized. It seems so unreal that the promise of a united commnuity is still as elusive as it was all those years ago. However, as the echoes of the past fade to black and the midnight dancing continues on a Friday night, only the music has changed. Closing my eyes, I cherish the soundtrack of those times and their endearing lyrics will always strike a chord with me. Not as an old school hit, but rather a fond memory of what we thought would be or could be someday.