Monday, November 21, 2005

In Search of "The Secret!"...continues

It is amazing that I have spent many of my productive years attempting to put my finger on the how, what, when and where I may fit into my version of community. Unfortunately, after all this time, I am still perplexed as well as, still searching for that elusive connection that would offer me a more energize conduit to all those who share my passion and interest. Over the last 20 years, I have analyzed, compromised, and idealized what "community" meant to me and how my contributions, whether they be large or small, would be utilized within its structure. So far, I have concluded that the communities of family, ethnicity, career and friendhship networks, that I thought I was apart of was perhaps a mirage within my imagination. These necessary suppport systems have become seeminly cloaked in my personal hopes, steeped in various disappointments that lie in the shadows of my ongoing fears, causing me to re-evlaute my relationship to each of them. Overall, I believe that as I unlock the elements of "The Secret," I will re-establish the synergy with individuals of like minds who will help me soar to new heights. Certainly, I have taken into account that the forces throughtout my scope of "community" has been dealt a serious blow with not just the AIDS crisis, but rather a barrage of socio- diseases, including alcoholism, mental illness,other susbstance abuses and the gnawing pressures of the "six degrees of separation" paradigm at large. Consequently, I've summerized that despite it all, a serious disconnect has to be countered, resulting in eliminating my doubts and confusion about the community that I so often took for granted. Ultimately, "The Secret" will set in motion answers to the basic questions of "where is the community that claims me and what are they expecting of me as the years continue to turn?" Must I comtemplate that my journey and experiences thus far have had very little intrinsic value, or worthiness to enhance those who will finally inherit my place within this microcosm. I shutter to think that much of my time has been squandered and those contributions have all but been forgotten, due to our "blink" culture which is always ready for the next big thing. The awful reality that exist is that the quasi communities I thought I knew and embraced, although flawed are actually still in need of soulful indidviduals such as myself to give them purpose and direction. However I'm determined that despite my current disillusionment, I intend to fill my spirit with all that I find within the scrolls of "The Secret" to secure a better future for myself and all that I touch. Join me as I search for clues at

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