What a week and then some. My in-box has been filled to the brim with everything from A to Z. It seemed that anyone that had a message, something to sell, tell or update has sent it my way. Of course much of the content and energy of this platform comes from none other than Y-O-U! Not only do you share your opinons, updates, rants and attaboys, I also get messages in other formats including that dastardly texting. No matter how you wish to reach out, its all about reaching out to let the world know that you too have a voice on matters. Believe it or not, this is post number 818 in our COP 24/7 catalog. Wow!! We've been keeping it real since our first post September 19, 2004. At that time we were known as "Talking OUT Loud," moving on to "The Body Politic," and ultimately COP 24/7. During 2004, only eleven post were completed and I thought we had some bragging rights. During this journey I've heard it all from those who have accused me of selectively choosing responses back in 2009 to folks taking exception with this forum posting items that they believed negatively impacted this community. Through all of it, this forum has never shied away from controversial issues or subjects that people refuse to talk about. Little did I know that my addiction to sharing my personal viewpoint would literally go global. What a ride its been since then and its amazing that it continues to this day. Thanks for reading us, checking in or following us! Your ongoing support and encouragement is most appreciated. Enjoy this re-run of one of our favorites from days gone by. All this month we will be taking a stroll down the digital memory lane.
As we grow older and become updated figments of our parents, we often reflect on the many conversations or either those catechism that our elder nurturers have shared with us over the years. These nuggets of wisdom and muster usually are deflected by us as we find our way to maturity. Yet one that sticks in my mind and constantly haunts me, is from my mother who always states," as sure as we live, we all gotta die." This brief statement rooted in her overall embracing of religion, not only rings true, but has provided me with some comforting relief despite it's ominous meaning. With each death in our family we have been surrounded by the outpouring of services, goods and most of all food. All these wonderful breads, beverages and other comfort foods, are a common display of condolences from your community. I witnessed many friends, neighbors, and strangers alike offering there contributions of eggs, juices, hams and other covered dishes.
Friday, February 10, 2006
No Casseroles
As we grow older and become updated figments of our parents, we often reflect on the many conversations or either those catechism that our elder nurturers have shared with us over the years. These nuggets of wisdom and muster usually are deflected by us as we find our way to maturity. Yet one that sticks in my mind and constantly haunts me, is from my mother who always states," as sure as we live, we all gotta die." This brief statement rooted in her overall embracing of religion, not only rings true, but has provided me with some comforting relief despite it's ominous meaning. With each death in our family we have been surrounded by the outpouring of services, goods and most of all food. All these wonderful breads, beverages and other comfort foods, are a common display of condolences from your community. I witnessed many friends, neighbors, and strangers alike offering there contributions of eggs, juices, hams and other covered dishes.
Traditionally in the Black community, funerals although a sad occasion, are treated as a unique "home going" for the deceased and a celebration of fellowship with those commemorating their life. My recent lost of my youngest brother was reinforced with this showering of concern and respect for the love ones who were left behind. But, as I stood amidst all this warmth and endearing atmosphere, I couldn't help but feel some contempt and an uneasiness that perhaps I hadn't developed binding relationships to have personal friends who seemed moved to respond. Looking around the various deliveries, I had hoped to find some notes from people I personally knew, but I found no care packages, no cakes and most of all, no casseroles. In the subsequent weeks, my thought patterns hearkened back when I lost my life mate in 1995. Despite my stern demeanor then and now, I've analyzed that those strong ties and friendships that I thought I once had, have all but become surface memories and occurrences of times past. Our tiny apartment we shared, once hosted many with our brand of hospitality, but was a hub of silence prior to the funeral and certainly afterwards. I didn't experience the same warmth and love that all these years later I'm seeing being directed to my immediate family.
Cultivating and developing relationships are a necessity in human contact, especially when celebrating a home going. I have to assume my responsibility in keeping contacts alive and making efforts to stay in touch. Over the years, some have perceived me to be aloof and distant. I stand guilty, but life has a way of forcing change in a person and I have been in a constant exploration of my purpose as well as my legacy to the world. Nevertheless, today's society is so fraught with individuals who are caught up in "keeping up appearances," that often we are repelled at peeling away the many mask that approach us daily. Forging careers and ultimately finding a life mate is paramount,but rediscovering old friends and making new ones must be apart of that strategy. Just as my mother's adage reaffirms, I have to add, even though "we all must die", I hope that I ultimately don't do it without some true friends. Feel the need to reach out and touch at Nealix101@comcast.net
1 comment:
Your comments about relationships---family and friends---during a time of personal loss are very poignant. I have had similar experiences. And I think the disappointments I've felt about friends, in particular, have forced me to probe why. Without judgement or anger, I've learned to keep expectations at a minimum. People are so absorbed in their own lives that they don't usually break out of their own orbits. Times past, that bothered me. Now, I just don't think about it.
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