Friday, February 14, 2014

The VD Post

New Anthology Project Planned

A new anthology project is in the drawing board stream which will seek original content ranging from prose to essay concerning personal lived experiences in relation to all aspects of an individuals LGBTQI

The project will continue to explore the multi layering of same gender loving men and women and the daily impact of such issues of coming out, homophobia, intimate partner violence, gender identity, long term partnership and assorted sub culture myths that are often languish in misinformation.

COP 24/7 has been approached to serve as Executive Editor of the as yet un-named project once additional funding details have been affirmed. This platforms is enthusiastic and excited at the forward motion of the project and will be updating as decision are concluded. Currently COP 24/7 will begin formulating submission criteria, coordinating subject matter areas and announcing deadlines. Please stay tuned to this platform as well as on our new Facebook page ( ) Don't forget to "like" our page!

Partnering 101: So What does Love have to Do with It?

Its another Valentine's Day where folks are bouncing about among the various street vendors, flower shops and any other business caught up in the day love dash to show your affection or devotion to that special some one. Every year I watch this dizzying array of gift baskets, teddy bears and candy filled boxes paraded to offices and home door steps in that attempt to ultimately say "I Love You." Certainly I've done my share and had my share of this gift giving madness as part of my complex 17 year relationship.

Throughout your coupling you often find yourself equating the success of your relationship based on the premise of  you are suppose to or have to do all of this to prove your love. To be honest, I enjoyed it and have no actual problem with it, since it was the arrival of a vase with a dozen of red roses that started it all back in 1997.

I don't tend to go on about what I've achieved in the relation department but rather what I continue to hear from many of you who are from one extreme, "bitter party of one," "caught up in one night love affairs" or trying to mange that "he, she and me drama" that can be a total mother trifecta when there also kids involved.  What I had to learn and many often don't in trying to have a successful relationship is the fact that sharing your life space requires some serious work.

Personal Empowerment guru Iyanla Vanzant ( ) counsels couples on her hit cable show on OWN, call "Iyanla: Fix My Life" in which boldly tells couples to "do your work!" I concur that I learned that before her prime time hit, but Vanzant demands that we fully understand that the "love" we seek begins within each of us "doing the work," before we can have a loving relationship.

Its important that you realize if you have not "fixed" yourself before your bring someone into your loving space and then try to "fix" them to suit your needs. Having an adult relationship requires much give and take, sacrifice, endurance, truth and accepting who you have chosen to share life as they are because they came that way when you decided to be a couple. If they are liars, cheaters, leeches or manipulators, then you can almost count on it that this leopard will not changes their spots! 

I find it interesting as I keep watching the calls for marriage equality that I witness so many relationship melt downs, weekly break-up's and "90 day anniversary's," with your latest love interest. Of course what has worked for me, may not be a solution for you, however, fully understanding all aspects of "making house" can be thoroughly challenging as well as gratifying. Consequently one must always know that you can "drop that zero and get you a hero."

On this V Day, it is my wish that those who decide to stop for love, find that special someone who will respect your spirit, soul and body. There's nothing more beautiful than discovering a partner who will be there in triumph and during tragedy. I have been extremely fortunate to have shared my life with a partner who has seen me at my personal best yet dealing with me when  being human was not always pretty.

As the years have passed, the flowers have stopped but we've concluded that having a budding relationship brings about the flowers that no florist can deliver. As you possibly await your door bell to ring or for something to show up at the office because you anticipate that they will follow through.  Don't forget that you have to "do your work" to get to that loving space that Vanzant states is being "at peace and not in pieces." Go forth and find love!

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