Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Naked Horizons

Last week we re-posted a item from Samantha R., who share with the world a "women thou are loose" expression that was at its core, raw, unapologetic, passionate and above all a testimony that laid naked for all to see. COP 24/7 was fortunate to get her permission to share that tour de force tribal outcry that proves that none of us really knows lies beneath each of our body shells. I got to know "Sam" over the last few years and I can attest to her willingness to "to keep it real" while dealing with all the issues that it takes to make it in this world. Her boldness through this prose, should be seen as "teachable moment" to comfort us all whom have emotional baggage and stirred souls that at some point must be set free to allow us to move forward. Therein lies the premise for us all to "get naked."Meanwhile this post is so timely as we prepare for an upcoming empowerment session entitled Strengthening Gay Arkansas, October 15 in Little Rock. Watch this forum for breaking news on this important event.  Thanks Sam for sharing your searing voice in this forum and COP 24/7 is always open to share "what's really going on" in your lives. This piece is unedited, altered and are her own words.

Part 2: Naked for a Cause by Samantha R.

I was sitting in my den today; thinking and preparing for the rest of my day and week. I found myself thinking about my hysterectomy, more so, the actual procedure. You see on the outside, my womanhood was healthy. However, on the inside, my womanhood was wounded; ill, broken, and all messed up. My womanhood needed fixing. When sitting down with my doctor, she explained the procedure. She shared with me that she would be making a small incision in my lower abdomen and opening and entering through my belly button. She was then going in and removing what was making me ill, in pain, unable to enjoy the feelings from my love when we made love, bleed, damaged, etc. The day of the surgery, I remember talking to the anesthesiologist and saying, “Will you be shaving me for this procedure or doping me up really good so I won’t feel the pain? Will you make certain I get through this and wake up”? And a few hours later, felt like minutes, I was awaken.. I remember waking up in absolute pain, hungry, and the nurse had informed me that for a slight moment, during surgery, my numbers went up and they were fearful I was leaving this earth, but I made it out.. ALIVE, WELL, WITH THE BAD STUFF REMOVED, THE ICKY STUFF SCRAPED, and in time, I should feel like a new woman! I remember thinking, there I was out, open, exposed, with the risk of death or injury, losing what I thought defined my womanhood and its existence, and suffering great pain and obstacles afterwards… BUT NOW, I am healed, feel more like a woman than I have effort felt, able to receive love with love making, and the PAIN IS GONE! You see, with exposure comes great risks. Often, the risks become reality and it hurts OH SO BAD, but once it’s over, healing takes place and restoration shows it beautiful being that always dwelled inside of me, you, each one of us.
In my previous note, “Naked for a Cause”, I left using myself and a very small part of my truth and story WIIIIDE OPEN! I asked the question in the end, am I alone? I asked the question before, what if we were all NAKED, vulnerable, cut down our center with our emotional and mental exposed? I asked, how would, if we would, receive one another? I have come to learn and understand that although my exposure is for me, it entirely for me. I take the risk of exposing myself for the edifying, restoration, healing, and the great need of relief for others, my friends, my family, my community. Yes, we are all responsible for my own paths, but what’s found and discovered at the end of those jagged roads is for us to set into the atmosphere and gift to others our “coming out”.
How would you feel if you knew you, and your life, was being watched by others assigned specifically to you? Do you believe that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or merely a chance? Do you believe that your story, your journey down the road less traveled, is only for you and not to be shared? be locked in a closet full of dried up skeletons? What if I told you that someone’s liberty is riding on you? What if I told you that someone’s hope was riding on you and your coming out, your story, your compassion, your authenticity, your very own liberty? What if I told you that it’s your hand that will catch someone who jumped over the bridge and realized they made a mistake and is hanging on for dear life? What if I told you that you are not only an over comer, but the one that shoots Goliath in the head with your rock and sling shot and saves your entire army, land, better yet, community?

The fact of the matter is that my community, your community, our community is exposed daily with great risks.. And although many of our community mates fail to be open, honest, naked, and in most cases, refuse to ask for help, the consequences of their actions, our actions, are with great consequence, often ending in tragedy, and becomes a reward to those that seek to abolish our communities and their existence. Young girls are mothers and/or motherless, young boys are fathers and/or fatherless, dying, killing, selling illegal substances, and taking life and matters into their own hands. Mothers and fathers are absent in the lives of their children and present in alcohol bottles and crack pipes. The innocence of a mother’s youth is being stripped away, by the minute, and all that is left is an adult that is soliciting herself/himself to the streets; a road mostly traveled filled with pimps, drug dealers, abusive men and women, and other temptations so great no amount of money could buy them back their righteousness and salvation. Fathers have found value in money, sex workers, and their own dreams of personal gain and success, not their children! The homeless, there seems to be no place for them. There seems no place for them except; homeless shelters, food banks, social security and disability applications that most often read, DENIED. There is lack of a permanent address. Questioning rehabilitation, are the homeless shelters consumed with providing shelter and doing their best to provide tools for the homeless to go back into society and make something of themselves or are they only consumed with that and not how the homeless got there?

And then there seems to be a new issue, well has always been, sexual minority folk. Struggling to find their place within themselves, let alone society, where could they go? Who could they turn to? Turn to a God that was described by man and man in authority and the position of leadership as a hateful, angry, God full of wrath, rebuke, judgment, and rage? Surely, those folk couldn’t look up! Surely, those folk couldn’t understand love, relationships, responsibilities, and hope because all of that was stripped away before hope, possibilities, and prosperity could be an option. For many of them, there is no cross road for these folk to even fathom. The only road to be traveled is one of confusion, despair, sickness, guilt, low self esteem, suicidal thoughts, and sex crazed havoc. All of these characters, people described are people that dwell in reside in our communities. The part that saddens me is that we all know it. We all see it. We all read about it. We all have a cousin, an aunt, an uncle, an acquaintance maybe that is one of the people I just described. Now, I would ask the question, “Would you be willing if they were completely naked”? Unfortunately, I can assume that because they aren’t being helped now and they aren’t naked, well…NEVERMIND.
The bottom line is this; we all are need of an affirmation of David, to help us defeat and bring to an end, our Goliath and for many of us, our whole lot of Goliaths. When in fact will our community, your community, be your responsibility? When will we become the surgeons? In a matter such as this, a degree isn’t required to go inside the hearts, emotions, and minds of our brothers and sisters, all the while risking exposure for an unexpected end that offers healing and a great relief.
Let’s get Naked Y’all!

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