The 09 Resolutions: I listed my 2009 resolutions and asked all of you to feel free to comment or share your thoughts. The comments are starting to flow and so far I've sensed that their are many of you whom are experiencing ongoing discomfort, disillusionment and lives that may appear in disrray. The holidays can be a bummer that leads into a new year without a love one or in search of the a illusive soulmate. Even though I now have a loving relationship, I too have suffered the lost of life mate. It was a life changing event that caused me to have to regroup and retool my entire way of thinking. This forum, if nothing else is determined to be a open forum to share the "gay experience" from all angles ranging from the positive to the underbelly of living the lavender life. I discovered the item below from the site http://www.gaydatingadvice.com/ which is maintained by Dr. Eric of NYC. The tag line for his site states, "A place to find support and information to help you go from being a PAIN-FULL dater to a PAIN FREE DATER!" This unedited information is offered as source material and is not intended to be an endorsement of his practice or a subsitute for locating you own personal health practicitioner. You don't have to go to NYC to get help, there's great therapy right in our own back yard. I will be adding some of the local outlet to our site map. Remember we are always here as a place to share, learn and Love. Join us as a follower today.
This tip is for those who have lost someone for any reason, from being dumped to a partners demise.
While it could be argued that thier is a huge differnce between the two, there are many similarities if there was a large degree of attachment!
When we enter into a relationship and integrate our lives with another person. As a result we are we are forever changed. Our worlds are intertwined and organized around the other...
I have listened to many describe the void that is created in the lives of those formerly partnered...especially those who have had a partner for several years.
Our daily lives are impacted by our loss:
sitting across from us a breakfast, lunch, dinner
an empty bed
fighting for sink time and mirror space in the bath room
preparing meals for just one
making plans with out consulting your partner
phone check ins to see how the day is going
This list could go on and on...what I am describing here is an empty space that was formerly filled.It is presence felt by it's absence.
Mourning and grieving are a natural part of loss and is the very thing that heals our pain. While this is occurring it is sometimes useful to remember and do a few things that can help the process along....
1. You were a whole person before this very important relationship
These are just a few of the things to do and remember while you are experiencing a loss.