Thursday, May 07, 2009

And the Beat goes on 24/7! & More

Well, be careful for what you ask for, because you just might get it and how! Here's the latest salvo clarifying all positions on Topic A in this forum concerning Me, "It" and the DSB. Again, it is unedited and presented as recieved, 5.8.09.


From several postings you have made over the past months, you have implied some very negative things about me and DSB. Your recent covering from Adam Brits account of why he was asked not to wear makeup and panties to the bear underwear party was particularly disconcerning. Adam is obviously entitled to live his life as he sees fit and I support his right to do so. But, I am disappointed when you interjected your opinions (judgements)on my actions without bothering to even see if he was telling you an accurate account. YOUR WORDS: "Continues the perception of a divided community existing in filters and rose colored glasses? BINGO! This syndrome has plagued this state since I can remember and from all indications the mindset is firmly entrenched. In other words most folks just don't want to deal with our internal struggles with racism, ageism, sexism or much else for that matter." My not wanting Adam to come to my fetish party (Fetish being either being a bear or liking bears) wearing panties and makeup does not translate into my not wanting to deal with internal struggles of the world. I you had a "white party" at your house, and someone insisted on wearing black....does that mean that you are turning your back on the black dye producers of the world and trying to tople their financial stability? My point is, the issues are so remotely different that it is plain silliness to suggest otherwise. YOUR WORDS: "Ultimately I'm further bemused that AB would be singled out since the ringmaster of these events publicly supports "gender bending" in his own household including fundraisers involving DSB members! Now, really. It's one thing to not like someone personally than to espouse some kind of flimsy "visual judgement" that smacks of foolishness." I do support the drag community, as well as the transgendered, as well as the lesbian, as well as the leather, bear, fairy, and all the other communities that our world seems fit to label themselves. I support people doing whatever makes them happy and content and does not cause harm to others. One tidbit that Adam did not share with you was that before he decided to try to make my private party a social statement, Adam and I were friends (well bar friends anyway). Every single time that I saw him and his roomate out (always dressed in over the top feminine attire), regardless of where we were, I would hug them, kiss them, hang out with them, and enjoy the nightlife. A group of us (including adam and his roomate) had an amazing time at disco one night! So you see, it isn't a matter of not liking Adam, or the way he dresses in public. Adam even asked me one time if the bears would do a fundraiser for his group. It was a matter that he was wanting to choose my party to try to make his own political statements.....I do not think that is, as you said, "visual judgement that smacks of foolishness". Adam was not singled out! To set the record straight as well about me letting Adam know he should not come dressed inappropriatly to my party through his roomate. I am friends with his roomate and was talking to him on Bear411 one day about the upcoming party. It was Adams roomate that told me he was thinking about inviting adam, and I told him that adam was welcome but only dressed appropriatly for the event. I did not bring up adams name, or send adam any messages. His roomate mentioned to adam what I said, and I got a LONG hatefilled letter telling me about how horribly a sick person I was and blaming me for all the worlds ills. It was then that I realised adam was an unstable person. It is no accident that Little Rock is littered with establishments that adam is no longer allowed in.
In the past you have made a few statements that simply ring insincere. One being: "I kept drilling looking for exactly what does this outfit do and for whom? I can't tell and so far I haven't found anyone else who seems to know or will speak on the record." Come on yourself called me the didn't search too hard for the answers to your questions did you!?!? (you know me personally and have never asked me). Even though you didn't ask...heres some info about DSB: It is a group of guys that are either bears, or like bear type men. When I started the bear group, there was no bars or social gathering places where bears were welcome. All the bars were geared toward the young, inshape, twink types. It was after my parties that Philip started bear nights at Sidetracks. We are not a community activist group, nor do we do community projects.....we are strickly a social club. My goal is that Bear guys from all over Arkansas and surrounding areas have a gathering place to meet and enjoy each others company and network. Guys who describe themselves as bears have historically not been a group to go out to the bars. Many of us have represented Arkansas at other Bear Runs. We go camping together, take road trips together, and attend some events in others states. I do not post pictures on the website any longer do to the fact that some of our group are either closested or in jobs that require descretion.You seem to be concerned where all the money goes that comes in from the bear parties. The answers are various: Most of it goes to put on the parties (renting the clubhouse, buying food, renting videos, Any type decorations for the events, paying dues to websites to promote it in the bear community. paying for the website). I have donated to the rodeo. Helped with fundraisers, including donating. On those nights when the party goes till 4am, clubhouse rental isn't cheap. On large crowd nights, it is easy to make budget, but not all the parties end up in the positive column of finances. DSB has nothing to do with the alcohol. So it all evens out in the long run. I have not incorporated DSB, and have no desire to do so. My parties are private because it is, in my opinion, a fetish party. I want my parties to be for bears and about bears!! If you are a bear, or your not a bear, but like bear types, then you are welcome. I want it to be a masculine atmosphere. I want it to be a non drug, non attitude, non stress atmosphere. Everyone is expected to act like an adult and make adult decisions while they are there. I do not wish to change the world (there are venues for thoes who do), I do not want to start an empire or business venture (beleive me, there are many more negatives than positives). I don't want to disturb others (or have them disturb me). I just want to feel good when I have someone tell me "I really don't get out much to meet people, but I went to one of your parties and met some really great guys and had a blast...thank you!". The best part of the Bear parties to me are the next day when my email box is full with letters from guys thanking me for providing a comfortable fun party for them to go and meet people. As far as my goal of spreading a positive attitude toward the bear community. Before DSB, there were no bear nights at the local bar. Every other month there are guys coming in to Little Rock from all over the country to come to the Bear parties, they are staying overnight (sometimes the whole weekend). The are going to the local bars, eating at the local eating establishments, and enjoying out city and meeting our local guys. Bears are no longer the unseen part of the Little Rock gay community. I would like to think I had a small part in bring that about.


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